Dr. Mark Nan Tu 涂南博士

今天在北京骑单车，到太阳宫附近的一个交叉路口等红灯时，一位少年夜骑单车过来停下，称赞我的车很棒，问我是否是专业的。我抬头看去，发现他是个高中生，穿着校服，骑着一辆捷安特入门级别的山地车。他好奇地看着我的车前叉，说这个叉很不错，气动的，行程大，还羡慕地摸了摸。我笑着回答道：“这辆车已经骑了十年了，看上去新还是因为我骑得不多。不过你的车也不错啊。”他回答：“还可以，我的车是油压的前叉，可以锁死。平路上可以提高速度。” 接着他说：“走一个？” 我一愣，马上明白过来，“走一个”意味着与他比一下。我看看周五下班高峰期的车流，摇摇头，不行啊，车太多了。他笑着说：“明天？”我看着他认真的样子，说：“也许吧。”这时绿灯亮了，他迅速加速，一溜烟地消失在前方。我看着他远去的背影，心中涌起沉寂多年的记忆。

那是一个梦想成为运动员的少年，在长沙市东塘到袁家岭的韶山路马路上训练跑步。当时机动车道和自行车道是有铁栏杆分开的，机动车不多，自行车道却车满为患。少年热身后，在公交车站等7路公交车启动后，跟在公交车后面奔跑。有时公交车司机看到后视镜中的奔跑的少年，会故意猛踩油门，进行一场公交车和少年的比赛。但公交车到站要上下旅客，这就是少年超越公交车的最佳时机。在一次次和公交车的比赛中，少年锻炼了身体，磨练了意志。

今天在北京街头偶遇这个少年，我忽然想到那个少年，已经做好了准备。

As I was cycling in Beijing today, I stopped at a crossroads near Sun Palace and waited for the red light. A teenage boy rode up on his bike and said to me, “Are you a professional? Your bike is awesome.”

I looked up and saw a high school student in his uniform riding a basic Giant mountain bike. It wasn’t anything fancy, probably an entry-level model.

I replied, “No, I’m not a professional. I just ride my bike for exercise.” The boy curiously examined the fork of my bike and said, “This fork is nice. It’s aerodynamic and has a long travel.” He even touched it admiringly.

I laughed and said, “It’s just a 10-year-old bike that I don’t ride often, so it looks new. Your bike is nice too.”

He replied, “It’s okay. My fork is hydraulic and can lock. It can go faster on flat roads.”

Then he asked me, “Wanna race?”

I was taken aback and looked at the rush hour traffic. There were too many cars on the road.

He smiled and said, “How about tomorrow?”

I looked at his serious expression and replied, “Maybe.”

As the green light came on, he quickly accelerated and disappeared into the distance.

Watching him ride away, memories flooded back from my own teenage years.

I used to train for running on Shaoshan Road, from Dongtang to Yuanjialing, in Changsha. The motorway and bike lane were separated by iron railings. There weren’t many cars on the road, but the bike lane was always packed with cyclists.

After warming up, I’d run alongside the No. 7 bus, chasing it down the road. Sometimes, the driver would see me in the rearview mirror and hit the gas, competing with me for a few seconds. But the best opportunity to overtake the bus was when it stopped to let passengers on and off.

Through these races with the bus, I trained my body and forged my willpower.

Meeting this teenage boy on the streets of Beijing today, I was suddenly reminded of that time in my life. I realized that I had been preparing for this moment for years.

Let’s race.

About 20 years ago, there was no ChatGPT or smartphones. Only computers and the most popular instant messaging tool at the time, MSN Messenger, were used by Chinese white-collar workers. I had a friend on MSN Messenger who contacted me via email after reading my personal blog.

I liked writing blogs but didn’t like editing them. When I learned that she was the executive assistant of Siemens, a Beijing native, and a high-achieving graduate of a 985 university, I joked that she could help me with my writing. Every time she finished editing, she would send me the first draft via MSN Messenger, and the next morning, she would send me the edited version, making significant changes to the tone and wording. After her editing, the writing became smooth, and the readability increased significantly. Also, many of my straightforward and direct expressions were modified to be more elegant and refined, and there were no spelling mistakes.

We maintained this pen pal relationship for several years. Finally, one day, I asked her out for dinner and arranged to meet at a restaurant near the Siemens Building where she worked. I remember she was tall, about 180cm, had no makeup on, wore flat shoes, and was very easy-going. I noticed that she didn’t talk much and preferred to listen. During the dinner, I talked non-stop, and she just listened quietly.

That was the only time we met, and after that day, we returned to our respective lives. I continued to write, and she continued to edit, sending me the edited version the next day. I had become accustomed to having such a helpful assistant.

Several years later, one day, her MSN Messenger signature changed to “Resting for a while, unable to reply, please forgive me.” Also, she did not respond to my inquiries.

Months later, she left a message on MSN Messenger saying, “I am XXX’s mother. XXX passed away due to an incurable illness on XXX year, month, and day. Her farewell ceremony will be held at Babaoshan on XXX year, month, and day. As her friend, please attend.”

For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. After thinking for a long time and hesitating for several days, I finally mustered the courage to reply on MSN Messenger: “I am Tu Nan, XXX’s pen pal. She helped me edit many blog articles in the past, and I am grateful. Please accept my condolences. I will attend the farewell ceremony on time.”

Soon, she replied: “XXX mentioned you many times. She passed away quickly without much pain.”

On the day of the farewell ceremony, I wore a black suit, arrived at Babaoshan on time, and her funeral hall was packed with her friends, colleagues, and relatives, with more than 200 people attending. I presented the flowers I had prepared, bowed in silence, and she lay there quietly, young and with no makeup, just like when I had met her. She looked peaceful in her sleep.

I found her mother and said, “I am Tu Nan, your daughter’s pen pal.” Her mother was very friendly and didn’t show much emotion, just quietly saying, “Nice to meet you.”

Time passed, and I left Beijing to develop in Shenzhen. MSN Messenger was replaced by new mobile communication methods, and I lost contact with her family completely.

She quietly helped me edit my writing, and had a significant impact on me. Many times, I have wondered, why were there so many people attending her farewell ceremony? What is the meaning of life?

大约20年前，那时候还没有chatgpt，也没有手机，只有电脑和当时最流行的及时通信工具MSN messenger。是中国白领的首选即使聊天工具。我在MSN messenger上有一个朋友，是阅读我个人博客以后通过email联系上我的。

我喜欢写博客，但不喜欢修改。得知她是西门子公司的总裁助理，北京土著，985毕业的高材生后我打趣的说，你可以帮我修改文章。我她每次写完就把初稿通过msn messenger 发给她，第二天早上她就把修改好的文字发给我，并对语气语调进行大规模的修改。经过她的修改，文字通顺，可读性大幅度增加，而且我用的很多理工白袜男的直截了当的表述都会被修改得更加委婉和优美。而且错别字全部没有。

这样的笔友关系维持了几年。终于有一天，我提出来请她吃饭，我就约在她工作的西门子大厦旁边的一个餐馆。记得她很高，有180cm，来的那天素妆，平跟鞋，很随和，我发现她话不多，而且也不太喜欢说话，更喜欢倾听。席间，主要是我滔滔不绝的讲，她只是静静的听着。

这是我和她唯一的一次见面，那天吃饭后，我们又进入各自自己的生活状态，还是我写了文字，她会修改，第二天发给我。这样的助理，我已经成为习惯了。

几年后的某一天，忽然她在msn messenger的签名换成了，休息一段，无法回复，见谅。而且我发给她的询问也没有回。

几个月以后，有一天，她在msn messenger上留言，我是XXX的母亲，XXX患病医治无效，已于xxx年x月x日离世。她的遗体告别仪式将于xxx年x月x日在八宝山举行，作为她的生前好友，请您参加。

一时间，我不知说什么好。想了很久，犹豫了几天，终于鼓起勇气在msn messenger回复，我是涂南，xxx的笔友，她以前帮我改过很多博客文章。我十分感谢，同时请您节哀顺变。我会准时参加。

没多久，她回复：xxx提到过你很多次。她走得很快，没有什么痛苦。

告别仪式的当天，我换上了黑色的西装，按时到达八宝山，她的灵堂挤满了生前好友，同事，亲属等，预计超过200人。我献上了早已准备好的花，鞠躬默哀，她就安静的躺在那里，年轻的脸庞，素颜，和我见过的一样，安详的睡着。

我找到阿姨，说我就是涂南，您女儿的笔友。阿姨非常友善，记得没有太多的情绪表示，安静的说，幸会幸会。

时过境迁，我离开北京去深圳发展，msn messenger也被新的移动通信方式取代，我和她家也是彻底失去联系。

她默默的帮我修改文章，对我产生了巨大的影响。多少次，我经常在想：为什么她的告别仪式有那么多人参加？人活着的意义到底是什么？